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October 19, 2006

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Brian You

Thomas, I thought that the overall “tone” of the essay that your group put together was pretty good. I got the feeling that you guys knew what you were talking about. There were also a lot of errors. It seemed that the essay was poorly edited. There were a bunch of miss used commas. For example in the final paragraph the two sentences, “The Master’s house seems to be located in the same place, the Gin house seems to have moved. If you look back at the photo of the slave cabin, it shows that it has been moved because it does not seem to have a permanent foundation.” In the first sentence the there should have been a conjunction or two separate sentences, and in the second one the comma was not needed. I did not like the way the photos were presented. It was just placed in the middle of the essay all at once. You should have tried to spread them out periodically with the information provided or all at the end as an overview. The thesis was 2 sentences. A thesis statement should be only one sentence long. Overall the information was conveyed, but it will be the little things as well that will put your essay over-the-top.

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